Maya cemia

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

zdraztvouite!
(izvinite, I don't know how to write in Russian with the Latin alphabet, and I didn't yet figure out my keyboard.. so I'll stick to English).

Behind the lj-cut, I have put a text that I composed for Russian class (First year; level 2).
It is about my family (hope you can figure that one out; if not, then my Russian must be really bad).

Technically, I need 15 sentences. I have 20. I was wondering if it was possible to rephrase some sentences and remove some ona and on (highlighted in yellow); I find I use them too often.

Also, I'd like to know if I put the accents at the right places. If ever I did a mistake concerning that, please let me know, because this text is for a recording, so I need to be able to say the words as they sound.

One last thing: for some words, I wasn't sure how to translate them (Parol officer and Fashion designer); if you could let me know what is the correct formula, that would be wonderful!



Here's the translation in English:

I have a big family: I have two brothers and one sister.

My mother's name is Anna. She was born in Ivory Coast, but she is French. She is a maid.

My father's name is Peter. He was born in Drummond, New Brunswick (in Canada). He is a parol officer.

My oldest brother's name is Eric. He lives in Edmonton, Alberta. He is 25 years old. He works in a mill. His girlfriend's name is Marie.

My younger brother's name is Daniel. He is 21 years old. He finished college a few months ago. He wants to be an engineer.

Finally, my sister's name is Helen. She is 16 years old. She is in high school. She wants to be a fashion designer.

Thanks a lot for any constructive feedback! ^_^
EMPER

Comments

[beltspinner.livejournal.com]

you have nice handwriting. not quite cursive or block letters, but it is pretty

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

Why thank you! :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

ps - my prof asked us to not write in cursive so that he'd understand better what we write. ^_^

[oryx_and_crake]

You should pay more attention to cases (yes, I know it is one of the most difficult things for an English speaker). But you have the same errors all over the text. (I have listed several phrases below but they are not the only ones that have this error in them.)

у меня болЬшАЯ семья: два братА и однА сестрА
моЕГО старшЕГО братА зовут Эрик.
ЕМУ двадцать пять лет.
его подругУ зовут Мари.
моЮ сестрУ зовут Елена.
ЕЙ шестнадцать лет.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

Oh my, you are totally right. The worst is that I know those things.

I should re-write this whole text and post it again.

spasiba

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

Oh, I just figured out something. For the first one, I wrote genetive thinking about negation. -Now- I understand my mistake..

[belacane.livejournal.com]

I don't want to do your homework for you, but here's some tips.
Your biggest problem seems to be cases.

1) меня зовут Алиса = my name is alisa
but it literally trasnlates as 'they call me alisa'.
in the above construction notice меня is in the accusative case. This will be true for all constructions asking what someone's name is.
Thus for example:
My Mothers name is Ana = they call my mother Ana = моЮ мать/маму зовут Ана.

keep in mind though, that for MALE/NEUTER ANIMATE, the accusative form is the same as the genitive for male.
so My fathers name is Peter = моЕГО отцА зовут Петр.

2) ages
I think of it like this
I am 22 years old = to me is 22 years = МНЕ (dative case) двадцать два года
whoever your talking about when you're refering to age will always be in the dative case.
моЕЙ сестрЕ тринадцать лет = my sister is 13 (to my sister is 13 years)

3) cases and locations.
basic general rule: if you're AT a location it's НА or В + prepositional case.
BUT if you're GOING SOMEWHERE it's НА or В + accusative case.

example:
He works AT a factory = он работает НА заводЕ
He's going/walking to the factory = он идет НА завод

and you can spell all the canadian cities in cyrilic... normally they decline for cases like every other word.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

Thanks a lot for your constructive feedback!

The worst thing is that I knew most of that. *sigh* I don't write often enough in Russian. I should write compositions and get someone to correct them for practice.

[oryx_and_crake]

P.S. And yes, parole officer is probably OK to be translated as инспектор по надзору. (I just don't know if there is a special russian term for that, so I guess your version would do nicely.) Please mind that the stress goes on the second syllable, not on the last.

Fashion designer is модельер.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

I have two questions about fashion designer.

1) ars_longa put "Она хочет стать модельером." Why would there be a "ом" there?

2) Where is the accent?

spasiba!

[ars-longa.livejournal.com]

меня большая семья: двое братьев и одна сестра.

Мою мать зовут Анна. Она родилась в Айвори Кост, но она француженка. Она работает домработницей (или уборщицей).

Моего отца зовут Питер. Он родился в Драммонд, Нью Брунсвик (это в Канаде). Он инспектор по надзору (За кем? You need to specify that. There is no such thing as инспектор по надзору шт general in Russian).

Моего старшего брата зовут Эрик. Он живет в Эдмонтоне, Альберта. Ему 25 лет. Он работает на заводе. Его девушку зовут Мари.

Моего младшего брата зовут Дэниел. Ему 21 год. Он окончил колледж несколько месяцев назад и собирается работать инженером.

И, наконец, мою сестру зовут Хелен. Ей 16 лет. Она учится в школе. Она хочет стать модельером.


(All names are written in their traditional Russian transcription from English.)

[oryx_and_crake]

There is no such country as "Айвори Кост". This country's name in Russian is Берег Слоновой Кости.

On the other hand, инспектор по надзору would do nicely because as far as I know there is no set phrase in Russian for a parole officer, and I don't think that _emper_'s professor would require the most precise title of _emper_'s father's position.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

собирается работать инженером

Does that mean "he is working as an engineer" or "he wants to be an engineer"?

Because he is not yet one. He finished college in programming, but will go to university in September, in engineering.

[eyeballmassage.livejournal.com]

russian wikipedia uses Кот-д'Ивуар, which makes me think of ivory cats

[jet-setter.livejournal.com]

This is because in an attemplt to distance themselves from their colonial history, the country is no longer known as the Ivory Coast in english, but as Cote d'Ivoire.

[wolk-off.livejournal.com]

It's not just Wiki, it's the whole today's Russia :)

[wendy-j.livejournal.com]

I think it's better to use "домохозяйка" instead of "домработница". It depends on what you mean :)

[whitest-owl.livejournal.com]

Nope. Look at the English text: "She is a maid." That would be - "домработница" or "служанка".

"Домохозяйка" is for housewife.

[swiggett.livejournal.com]

Just a personal note, having more than the required number of sentences is never a bad thing. If you want to combine things, you could easily combine senteces like "my sister studies in school. She wants to be a fashion designer" with <>.

[oryx_and_crake]

One more thing. When you use transliteration, there are certain rules for that. You have to transliterate words as they are written and not as they are pronounced. So, the proper way would be "moya sem'ya" and not "maya cemya".

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

Oh, thank you! I was wondering about that! :)

transliteration

[viata.livejournal.com]

http://www.memos.ru/translit.php
It gives you a list of correlations and also a converter from cyrillic into so-called "translit" and vice versa. It's in Russian, but I hope it helps.

Re: transliteration

[viata.livejournal.com]

And one more. The three buttons are "Convert", "Delet all", "Original text"
http://crc.al.ru/translit.html

Re: transliteration

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

wooh!

spasibo!

respectfully from Russia

[cardinal911.livejournal.com]

hey, good luck in your studies! Russian is truly not easy to learn, so you must be a corageous person=)

Re: respectfully from Russia

[http://users.livejournal.com/_emper_/]

Thanks a lot! I'm trying to do a minor in Russian (if my programme accepts it - they still haven't given me an answer). It -is- pretty hard. Some days I think I'm oh so good, the next day I find that I know -nothing at all-. Ugh. But I'm developping a passion for the language, so it should be nice. Can't wait to see what it's going to be like next year, with a new prof and everything. I'm sure it's going to be a completely different experience!

PS - This is the best icon I ever seen! If you did it, good job! ;)