(no subject)
Jun. 3rd, 2004 02:33 pmIve been studying Russian in college for a year (Im an American) Id known it a little before (I grew up in a predominantly russian neighborhood so I learned words like "babushka" "koshka" "cobaka"-and some bad words- as well as the cyrillic alphabet and sounds from my friends at a young age) anyways this summer Im going to be studying at a university in Tomsk and staying with a Russian host family...
So I have a few questions for any Russians, or people who have travelled there...
1. What should I bring as a present for the family? Ive heard from my professor (she's Ukrainian) that silver is very rare in Russia so something like a silver picture frame for the family would be appropriate.. is this true?
2. What should I bring to wear? Most American college kids wear t shirt, jeans and sandals but my professor said that wouldnt be appropriate at all in Russia..what is the typical dress for a Russian women? And why is it "taboo" to wear sandals?
3. My professor also told me if I wasnt christian I should lie to my host family if they asked and say I was...would I offend the family to say Im not christian or would they not really care?
4. Is it appropriate to give my Russian host something with an American flag on it? (my mom has been buying everything in sight for my host family and one of the things she got them was a mug from starbucks with an american flag on it...would this offend them?)
5. Is it appropriate to tell my host family my boyfriend is in the American military? I know there are some anti war sentiments in Russia...would It offend my Russian host family to know this?
6. Are bath houses in Russia safe?
7. Are there movie theaters or malls in Tomsk? (Ive been told there arent McDonalds or Starbucks which is fine- just curious)
I think that's it, any suggestions or responses would be VERY helpful!
So I have a few questions for any Russians, or people who have travelled there...
1. What should I bring as a present for the family? Ive heard from my professor (she's Ukrainian) that silver is very rare in Russia so something like a silver picture frame for the family would be appropriate.. is this true?
2. What should I bring to wear? Most American college kids wear t shirt, jeans and sandals but my professor said that wouldnt be appropriate at all in Russia..what is the typical dress for a Russian women? And why is it "taboo" to wear sandals?
3. My professor also told me if I wasnt christian I should lie to my host family if they asked and say I was...would I offend the family to say Im not christian or would they not really care?
4. Is it appropriate to give my Russian host something with an American flag on it? (my mom has been buying everything in sight for my host family and one of the things she got them was a mug from starbucks with an american flag on it...would this offend them?)
5. Is it appropriate to tell my host family my boyfriend is in the American military? I know there are some anti war sentiments in Russia...would It offend my Russian host family to know this?
6. Are bath houses in Russia safe?
7. Are there movie theaters or malls in Tomsk? (Ive been told there arent McDonalds or Starbucks which is fine- just curious)
I think that's it, any suggestions or responses would be VERY helpful!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 12:06 pm (UTC)2. I guess, sandals are okay, unless your host family is not somewhat VERY-VERY conservative - and I doubt it.
3. Again, it depends. I don't think anybody is going to be offended.
4. Well, if they are not anti-american (I guess, they are not if they are your hosting family), it's okay.
5. Yes it's okay, i think. But be prepared to discuss war in Iraq and American foreign policy :-).
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 12:14 pm (UTC)Here (http://www.kinoafisha.net/repertuar/50.htm)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 07:41 pm (UTC)I got my hostess 2 silver bracelets, and silver earrings.
*shakes fist at Russian professor*
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 12:08 pm (UTC)2. T-shirts and jeans are ok, dont bother at all. Sandals are just not good here - they aren't not very casual as it seems to me.
3. Some people are very religious here. But i guess, that quantity of religious people in Russia isn't bigger than in other countries. It's my point of view, that you shouldn't lie about you. Practically everyone understand people that aren't chrictians.
4. About 10 years ago every clothes with american flag was the most fashionable ones almost everywhere :-). Nowadays american flag is just an american flag - a kind of souvenir, if you wish.
5. It also depends on the family you'll live in. But most russians don't like american soldiers.
6. Yes. :-) You can speak about it with your doctor, but if your heart and loungs are ok, than it's safe.
7. There IS MacDonalds in Tomsk (as far as i remember). And of course there are several movie theatres and malls there. Tomsk is no so small as it seems :-)
Excuse me for poor language
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 08:08 pm (UTC)IMHO
Date: 2004-06-03 12:12 pm (UTC)2. It's not like there's a taboo - it's just that sandals are a little bit indiscreet. :-) All right on ladies, but as for men - well... A matter of taste, actually.
Typical dress for a Russian woman depends on the occupation of that particular Russian woman. :-) For a student jeans and some shirt are perfectly all right.
3. No, they won't care. :-) They probably would if you were an ardent Moslem, but I doubt that.
4, 5: As for politics, it might be better just not to emphasize the subject. I don't think that american flag on a souvenier or the fact that your boyfriend is in the military would really offend your hosts (and even if it will, they most likely won't show it) - but taking into consideration political past and present, Cold War, Iraq, blah-blah-blah... you know. :-)
Good luck with those baths! ;-)
Re: IMHO
Date: 2004-06-03 08:14 pm (UTC)my hostess asked for lots of american things but I dont really want to seem like Im...being imperialistic or over patriotic with all these dumb american flag things my mom is buying.
anyways thank you for your insight.
Re: IMHO
Date: 2004-06-03 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 01:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 01:43 pm (UTC)1. What should I bring as a present for the family? Ive heard from my professor (she's Ukrainian) that silver is very rare in Russia so something like a silver picture frame for the family would be appropriate.. is this true?
Silver is not rare. Well, choose something, I don`t know what.
2. What should I bring to wear? Most American college kids wear t shirt, jeans and sandals but my professor said that wouldnt be appropriate at all in Russia..what is the typical dress for a Russian women? And why is it "taboo" to wear sandals?
Whatever you want. Nobody cares.
3. My professor also told me if I wasnt christian I should lie to my host family if they asked and say I was...would I offend the family to say Im not christian or would they not really care?
Nobody cares. I don`t like believers at all, and most Russians aren`t believers, so don`t worry.
4. Is it appropriate to give my Russian host something with an American flag on it? (my mom has been buying everything in sight for my host family and one of the things she got them was a mug from starbucks with an american flag on it...would this offend them?)
It`s ok. It is not offensive.
5. Is it appropriate to tell my host family my boyfriend is in the American military? I know there are some anti war sentiments in Russia...would It offend my Russian host family to know this?
It`s ok. Do not tell lies. Yes, we don`t like US soldiers. And we do not like liars:)
6. Are bath houses in Russia safe?
Yes.
7. Are there movie theaters or malls in Tomsk? (Ive been told there arent McDonalds or Starbucks which is fine- just curious)
May be. If not, visit Novosibirsk, it`s a trip only a few hours long, it`s a nice city, there are clubs and movie theaters and pubs and so on:) It`s recommended:)
Visit Lenina street here, you can find a NY Times restaurant, a few guys from US run it:) also you can find St.Patrick, an Irish pub and 501`s, an American one:)
PS: Your Ukrainian professor told you a number of strange things...when had she left USSR? Or she`s one of those who worked for OUN back in 40s?
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 08:07 pm (UTC)but why dont you like US Soldiers? every single one I know including my boyfriend HATES the war and wont be voting for Bush in the next election or re enlisting for that matter anyways. he was just a US soldier before Bush declared a war and kind of got stuck in the middle of it.
sorry just a thought
Sorry for interference
Date: 2004-06-03 09:55 pm (UTC)Now back to our silver spoons... :-)
Re: Sorry for interference
Date: 2004-06-04 06:02 am (UTC)I dont dislike Russian soldiers because I know they have no say in anything they're told to do...just like Hussein's soldiers had to do as they were told.
Bush didnt take a poll of how many american soldiers actually wanted to leave their wives and children and fight in some stupid tit for tat Bush war where they're deployed, sleeping in mud for up to two years.
In my opinion a soldier (in america) is a man who ran out of options for a better future and was forced into something that has a lot of political guff but not a lot of actual meaning.
in america being a soldier is not patriotic it's really just a career advancement.
Ameerican soldier <> Russian soldier
Date: 2004-06-04 08:26 am (UTC)Military service in Russia is mandatory.
They do not ask you if you are patriotic enough. If you are 18, male, citizen of Russia, healthy enough to pass a not-at-all-so-strict medical commission (that normally is content by the mere fact that you can speak, and the approximately count of your extremeties that has to fit the total number of 4,) not the only working member of your family (say, not the only child to disabled parents) and did not have enough time to get married AND have TWO children, then you get drafted. The only way to avoid the draft in this case, is to bribe somebody in order to make changes in your papers so that one (or more) of the conditions described above legally becomes the opposite (one-legged, married, two children, AND the only son to disabled parents:)))
I was on the military sevice in 1986-1987 (when it was still the Soviet Army.) Do you think I was so patriotic that I could not wait for being drafted? Ha ha. My family just wasn't wealthy enough (or skilled enough:)) to bribe the right person at the Military Commissariate.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 02:58 am (UTC)"he was just a US soldier before Bush declared a war and kind of got stuck in the middle of it"
And what happens if Mr.Bush decides to help Russians build some "new democracy"?:)
This land had seen many foreign amries coming here for different reasons: Poles, Frenchies, Germans, Americans, British, Japanese, etc.
There are plenty of "kind of got stuck in the middle of it" foreign soldiers, who were buried in this country, and plenty of ours, who had to fight with those foreigners.
So, every time we see some guys claiming that they are about to bring happiness and prosperity to all the world with their rifles, we become suspicious:)
That`s an answer to a question "why?", nothing personal:)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 06:09 am (UTC)My God!!!!
Date: 2004-06-03 02:06 pm (UTC)1. I am Russian. All my earnings and rings are silver. My mom (who lives in Moscow) has silver forks, and spoons, and so on. Picture frame – is a cute present because it’s a cute picture frame)) That’s it))
2. Do you want to see what people wear? If you are curious, you can look at my husband’s pics – summer in Moscow 2002. That’s what we wear)) And everybody wears jeans and t-shirts.
http://community.webshots.com/album/41193476jIuXWr
3. I don’t think you should lie if you are not Christian. I agree, there are a lot of religious people in Russia, but they are rather… understanding)))
4,5 – absolutely agree with the previous message.
6 What exactly do you mean by bath house???
But actually, a lot depends on those people you are going to be living with. Nobody can tell you if they are religious at all or not, what they think about war in Iraq, what they prefer to wear and simply how friendly they are)))
Just be ready that Tomsk is not a very big city and not the center of the world – so it’ll be quite different from what you have here)))
And there is no Starbucks in Russia at all, anywhere))) Sorry, may be later))))
The point is – don’t listen to your Ukrainian professor)))
It’s not that bad)))
Re: My God!!!!
Date: 2004-06-03 02:16 pm (UTC)Это баня, я думаю:)
Похоже, украинская профессорша там из беглых западенок 40х, так что медведи вовсю пасутся на улицах Томска, не удивляйтесь:)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 02:26 pm (UTC)1. An American flag might not go over so well. A little something from your homeown would be fine. If you want to get them something bigger, I'd suggest waiting until you get there and see what their tastes are and what they need. If you're anywhere near a Metropolitan area, you should be able to find just about anything.
2. Russian women tend to dress up to go everywhere. Makeup, heels, the works... Especially young women. I lived in Vladimir and Petersburg, and definitely felt schleppy in comparison. You don't need to overdo it, but just keep it in mind that Jeans and a T shirt will give you away as not from around there... You'll stick out anyway, but why call more attention to yourself than you need to? Places like target and H&M are great for Russia shopping. Pretty, inexpensive clothing that doesn't need to be dry cleaned.
3. Is there antisemitism in Russia? Yes... But not to the extent that you have to lie about it. I'm Jewish, and when they told my friends about it, they didn't give me any problems. If you are Jewish, keep in mind that Judaism is considered to be a nationality and not a religion. Under Tzarizm and the Soviets, if you were Jewish, it was marked on your Passport. As a result, it's stayed in the mentality of the Russian people. Just something to keep in mind. It tripped the hell out of me when I first encountered it. As for antisemitism in general, far as I can tell, the attitude towards any minority is "I hate all of group X! They're awful! But I know this one... and they're ok." So I wouldn't worry about it too much. If anything, you'll get more flak about being an American than anything else, much as I hate to say it.
The closest thing to antisemitism that I personally encountered ran like this; I was sitting in a pub in St. Petersburg with some of my Russian friends when the word "Zhid" came up in conversation (derogatory word for Jew). I emmediately stiffened up. Mind you, all of those around me knew that I was Jewish. They looked at me and said... "No! no no! It's a joke.. I'm joking! Don't worry about it!" The conversation shifted to the then impending war. One of the guys in the company came out and said "I hate Jews and I hate Americans."
I looked at him dumbfounded...
"Then why the hell are you friends with me?"
"Don't get offended! Don't get offended! You don't count!"
"What do you mean I don't count?"
"You don't act like that."
4. I don't think they'll be offended by the flag, but politics being what they are nowadays, I'd opt for somthing else.
5. Don't worry about offending your host family. Chences are they've hosted other American students and will be more interested than offended at the fact that he's in the military. It might be the start of a fascinating conversation. Don't look at it as "will I offend them?" Use it as an opportunity to get another perspective on the things, regardless of whether you agree with what they say or not. Just keep an open mind about whatever reaction they may have. On the converse side, try not to get offended at whatever their views are on the US and the military. The chances of them meaning it as an offense towards you is pretty slim.
6. They have Banyas. They're wonderful. You MUST go at some point before you leave. It's an experience. You'll never be cleaner in your life.
7. While I know nothing about Tomsk, I'd be pretty shocked if they didn't have at least one movie theater. I speak nothing towards the quality of said theater, but it'll be there with American movies in all their badly dubbed glory.
On a side note; It's good that you want to be sensitive to the cultural differences between Russia and the US. Definitely a very good sign. But it doesn't pay to try and make yourself out to be something you're not. Russians don't It's really important to keep everything in perspective. Keep an open mind and a sense of humor, but don't lose yourself in the process.
Hope that helps. Sorry it was so long. Feel free to IM me or post in my LJ if you have any more questions.
How long are you going to be in Russia for?
Feel free to drop me a line on my LJ or IM me if you have any more questions or comments.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 02:34 pm (UTC)Russians are not on the whole an easily offended people. There isn't the same view of Propriety there as ther is in the US. They will be blunt with you and say exaclty what's on their mind. They will not take it to heart if you respond in kind.
Apologies to all the Russians on this board for my broad stereotpying. I know that everyone is different, I am speaking on the cultural trends I witnessed from the view of an outsider.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 02:33 am (UTC)"When you ask a Russian how is he doing, expect a long and precise answer."
And do not hesitate to give him an equally precise answer about how YOU are doing, that's what I have to add!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 11:04 pm (UTC)If you were Russian, it was marked too. Or if you were Ukrainian. Or Uzbek. Actually, if you belonged to one of more than 100 nationalities in USSR, it was marked.
Just to clarify the situation. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 05:06 am (UTC)The concept Judaism as a nationality is a pretty Russian notion. Hence my comment.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 05:35 am (UTC)In fact, we know that Judaism is a religion and we know that not all Jews are believers. I think all this mess is because some Russians words have no exact equivalent in English and vice versa.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 05:45 am (UTC)Is there any way that you can ICQ me or send me an email to continue this conversation? This basic difference in understanding is fascinating, but I'm not sure that this is the best method of having this conversation.
:D
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 07:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 05:46 am (UTC)I know that it's a problem to define nationality from the point of view of the Judaism as a religion and from the secular point of view. In any case, Jews had some problems with the Soviet state not for being devoted Judaists, at least, not all of them. Nobody cared about the religion. Anyone could tell a Jew from an Estonian, by name or by appearance. Even if a Jew was a a communist (=atheist) in the third generation.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 06:04 am (UTC)There is a difference between a cultural heritage and a nationality. I understand that there are certain traits of RUssian Jews in particular that stand out from a Russian or an Estonian. But does that a nationality make? I can tell an Anglosaxon Protestant from a mile away, but that doesn't mean they're their own nationality.
Also, we are everywhere and depending on where we're from, we have different physical character traits. Would you really be able to identify an Ethiopian Jew by their appearance? Whould they bear any resemblance to a Russian Jew?
It's a difficult concept to reconcile.
It's just a very different mentality.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 06:13 am (UTC)would you please stop the Jewish Nationality discussion here, since it ceased to have anything to do with the initial question. You are free to continue it, say, in my own LJ, or in your own LJs by your choice, if it really is so very important to clear up this question.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 03:11 am (UTC)Hmmm....
Yes, we don`t care much about religion, Judaisn is a nationality here.
Nationality was marked for all people, i.e. Russians, Ukrainians, etc. and this fact left no marks in our mentality, you just have some strange friends.
As for this: "The conversation shifted to the then impending war. One of the guys in the company came out and said "I hate Jews and I hate Americans.""...I think the guy is just rude, and not very smart...
Unfortunately, if US will start more new wars and Israel will continue to provide it`s support for those wars...expect to see more comments like this one:(
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 06:14 am (UTC)would you please stop the Jewish Nationality discussion here, since it ceased to have anything to do with the initial question. You are free to continue it, say, in my own LJ, or in your own LJs by your choice, if it really is so very important to clear up this question.
Welcom and good luck!
Date: 2004-06-03 03:17 pm (UTC)Wear what you usually wear, jeans, skirts, shorts, t-shirts. Just check the weather. Though as far as I know it's usually quite hot in Siberia in summer.
I think that your host family wouldn't care even about your military boyfriend, let alone mugs with USA flags. But be ready to be involved in political discussions and express your opinion of G.Bush and his policy. ;)
I'm sure you will have no problems with your host family and really there's no need to lie about religion or political beliefs or any other stuff. Anyway you can always pretend you don't understand their questions. :)
P.S. It's funny if you have Ukranian accent because of the teacher.
Re: Welcome and good luck!
Date: 2004-06-03 05:51 pm (UTC)I don't know what the deal is with that whole silver thing. That's just wierd.
Re: Welcom and good luck!
Date: 2004-06-03 07:51 pm (UTC)Im afraid that if I tell people in Tomsk my boyfriend is in the military they wont make the distinction that I dont support the war..cause I never have and my boyfriend never has but he signed up way before all that bs so hes kinda stuck.
so I dunno
Re: Welcom and good luck!
Date: 2004-06-03 08:09 pm (UTC)A simple "Я против войны" will be all you need to explain.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 04:21 pm (UTC)2- Russian women do dress up, and I chose to wear make-up every day & dress a little nicer than usual: slacks, nice blouse, etc. You don't have to go over board & jeans are fine there, but just be aware. In Petersburg, I never saw anyone wear sandals other than tourists. I don't think they're taboo, just that they're not popular with grown-ups.
3- My host family wasn't religious at all, and neither were most Russians I've met. They're respectful, and most consider themselves Orthodox, but they're pretty tolerant of other people's views & ideas.
4- I don't think it's a bad idea, and it will be a reminder of you when you leave. Like the others said though, even if you don't take them, Russians like lively discussion & will want to know your views & opinions on current events.
5- I doubt it. Why would it be a problem? I talked often of my good friend who was deployed to Afghanistan while I was abroad & it turned into a current events discussion. No problems.
6- depends on the banya. =) If you want to go (and I think you should!), get your host family to take you.
7-Can't help you with Tomsk, never been there.
Have a great trip & remember to be open minded! There will be a lot that is different and new, so roll with the punches and keep a cool head. Good luck!!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 08:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 09:36 pm (UTC)my two cents
Date: 2004-06-03 10:25 pm (UTC)1. What should I bring as a present for the family? Ive heard from my professor (she's Ukrainian) that silver is very rare in Russia so something like a silver picture frame for the family would be appropriate.. is this true?
Well, although silver isn't rare, it is still somewhat expensive, so it will be appreciated. From my personal experience, older generations will love to get books about your hometown or your country in General, especially the ones with lots of pictures. The set of luxurious crafts paper from Japan my friend brought with her, was very nice from my point of view, but completely useless in my mom's opinion :) SO use your common sense and don't worry much about it. As we say: attention is more important than gift. I agree with the previous post about bringing a few small souvenirs, it will be nice to carry something you could give away on different occasions
2. What should I bring to wear? Most American college kids wear t shirt, jeans and sandals but my professor said that wouldnt be appropriate at all in Russia..what is the typical dress for a Russian women? And why is it "taboo" to wear sandals?
You don't have to dress up every day, but make sure you bring something 'special' for going out, theater and so on. You may consider to bring a minimum of clothes, have a look on the local fasion and buy a few pieces there to blend in.
3. My professor also told me if I wasnt christian I should lie to my host family if they asked and say I was...would I offend the family to say Im not christian or would they not really care?
A lot of people in Russia (myself included) are spiritual, a few consider themselves Orthodox, but only a tiny share of the so-called Orthodox goes to church more than a few times a year. So don't worry about it. It will be enough for you to show respect for their belief in case your host family happens to be very religious.
4. Is it appropriate to give my Russian host something with an American flag on it? (my mom has been buying everything in sight for my host family and one of the things she got them was a mug from starbucks with an american flag on it...would this offend them?)
Why not?
5. Is it appropriate to tell my host family my boyfriend is in the American military? I know there are some anti war sentiments in Russia...would It offend my Russian host family to know this?
Be prepared to talk about it, but don't worry much.
6. Are bath houses in Russia safe?
It depends, it would be wise to go with friends or family as someone has already advised. It can be a shocking experience, but I think it is worth it.
7. Are there movie theaters or malls in Tomsk? (Ive been told there arent McDonalds or Starbucks which is fine- just curious) H
I have never been to Tomsk myself (which isn't good), but I assume there should be movie thaeters and molls there. Russian people like to have fun, especially if they can afford it.
Sense of humor is a must have for any traveler, so bring it along and keep an optimistic perspective. I hope you have a great time.
a clarifying addition to #2
Date: 2004-06-04 09:23 am (UTC)Oh yeah, a slight insight on this summer's fashion (horrible as I hear from people) - girls wear some weirdly pinkish stuff, and next year is supposed to be polka dot (if you want to be ahead of the trends :) ).
no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 11:25 pm (UTC)2. Say to your professor, that she's not right.
3. It's false.
4,5. No, it's better not to give something with American flag or any USA symbolics.
6. Yes, they are safe.