Russian & same-sex marriage

[tisoi.livejournal.com]

Today in class we learned the terms for being married мужем/женат and single замужем/холост and how the word used depends upon whether or not the person is male or female. I also noticed that the male word for married contains жена (wife). And that the female word for married & single contain муж (husband).

Now, I know that same-sex marriages are far from being legalized in Russia, but it is in other countries. Could one say он мужем to refer to a man who has a husband and она женат for a woman with a wife?

And since I'm gay myself, do I say я замужем to say that I'm single? And what does холост mean exactly?

Спасибо!

Comments

[glorfindeil.livejournal.com]

No.

[tisoi.livejournal.com]

So, a man with a husband is still женат?

[phoonzang.livejournal.com]

another meaning of холостой is blank (shot, cartrdridge :)

[wolk-off.livejournal.com]

First of all, you got the words quite wrong.

Он женат = he is married.
Он холост = he is not married.
Она замужем = she is married.
Она не замужем = she is not married.

Note that замужем is a single word, not two.
There is no other variations.

As of the same-sex relationships, as they are not legal in Russia, there is no "legal" expression for them. I'm sure the pleople in the gay community have their own slang expressions for that, but I cannot help with that as I am not aware of their subculture lingo.

[evaluna68.livejournal.com]

Even if same-sex marriage isn't legal in Russia, aren't there terms that Russian-speakers use to describe same-sex marriages (or civil partnerships, etc.) in places where it is legal? Considering the number of Russian-speakers there are in somewhere like, say, New York, the issue must come up now and again.

[auditorsha.livejournal.com]

холост = single for men
женат = married for men

не за мужем =single for woman
за мужем = married for woman

состою в браке =beeing married for men and women both
I think that for a gay marriages there is no rules )

I think that you can use whatever variant to say that you are single:
Я холост
or
Я не за мужем
or
Я не состою в браке

[mithrilian.livejournal.com]

@не за мужем =single for woman
за мужем = married for woman@

замужем - no space, it's a single word.

[warpod.livejournal.com]

за мужем = behind the husband
замужем = married

[avoider.livejournal.com]

Terms for being married замужем/женат and single не замужем/холост

[archaicos.livejournal.com]

You can't say "Она мужем". It has to be either of "Она замужем" or something like "Она замужняя женщина" (similarly to "Он женатый мужчина"). "За мужем" (although in your context it must be written as one word) literally means "behind a/the husband". Мужем alone is the instrumental case form the noun муж and as such has no meaning when used alone or outside of context that requires the instrumental case (as in "Она пошла за мужем" (=She followed her husband) or "Книга была написана ее мужем" (=The book was written by her husband)).

If you're gay and aren't legally married to anyone, you can't be замужем/замужняя or женат(ый). You can be холост(ой)/незамужем/неженат(ый)=unmarried or just, well, gay/homosexual/lesbian/etc (for which I'm not sure there's a politically correct term in Russian without any negative connotations as the post-USSR society still largely doesn't treat gays with dignity, any minority for that matter).

[alex-mashin.livejournal.com]

You learned badly. Она замужем = She [is] married. Она не замужем = She [is] single.

You can say Он замужем or Она жената, and it can only mean single-sex «marriage», but it will inevitably sound funny, because grammar itself resists the expansion of the meaning of the word «marriage».

And yes, you can say Я замужем for I am married [to a man] or Я не замужем for I am not married [to a man]. It will sound camp, but it's your choice. If you want to express this idea in more precise terms, say Я состою в гражданском партнёрстве.

The word холост is the absolute form of the adjective холостой, unmarried. Usually the word is applied to men only, however, in priciple, a woman could say about herself Я холоста, but it will sound feminist. A better choice for a woman will be Я не замужем.

[alexzzzzz.livejournal.com]

«Я холостая»

[la-dy-ashley.livejournal.com]

Я холоста? I don't know much about Russian feminist slang (if there is any), but in an ordinary context for a common person it will sound just like bad Russian, with no special overtones. If you say that you are likely to be corrected, Я не замужем.

[oiseau-russe.livejournal.com]

I also noticed that the male word for married contains жена (wife). And that the female word for married & single contain муж (husband).

Yes, you are right. "Женат" means "has a wife", it's the same construction as in couples рог-рогат ets. And "за мужем" means "behind the husband".

[mithrilian.livejournal.com]

To add to what's already been said.

Они женаты - they are married. It's a common expression and means a heterosexual couple. But there is no mirror они замужем.

I think you can say они женаты about either a homosexual or lesbian couple. Language-wise it's ok. If I am speaking Russian about a couple from a country where same-sex marriages are legalised, it would be perfectly all right grammatically.

Speaking about such couple within a context of Russia, they would say они живут вместе or они сожительствуют or (lower speech) они спят вместе. Same would be said about any heterosexual couple who are not legally married.

[zhiharka.livejournal.com]

You may say они живут как муж и жена.

[alexzzzzz.livejournal.com]

«Они живут вместе»

It's simple, clear, grammatically and actually correct, and doesn't depend on homo- or heterosexuality.

[crimeanelf.livejournal.com]

I would say about gays either "He/she lives with a man/woman" ("Он/она живёт с мужчиной/женщиной") or "He/she has a partner" ("У него/неё есть партнёр"), or maybe "He/she has a spouse" ("У него/неё есть супруг/супруга").

But I agree with wolk_off, you could learn more by asking a Russian gay community. A quick search did not reveal any large communities in LJ, but I think http://community.livejournal.com/ru_sex_school/ could have quite a lot people who might know the answer to your question.

[iloska.livejournal.com]

I think that if you are single, you are холост independent of your sexual orientation. холост relates only your gender, since gender of your partner is still unknown.
замужем/женат relates to gender of your pertner, so as the first comment said, if you will say that you are женат, it will hint about passive/active role in your family.
As this deffinition relates to partner's gender, замужем may be will be write gramatically but will still hint about passive/active roles.
In your place I'ld prefer мы женаты in case of question about your relationship and я женат in case of question about your marriage status.

[zauberer.livejournal.com]

Since russian words женат and замужем don't tell _anything_ about what kind of sex people have with each other and what kinks they might have, it seems possible to use these words to describe same-sex relationships. But as other commenters suggested, these words do indicate person's gender, so it is really awkward, for example, for a man to say я замужем because this word implies that the person it applies to is a woman.

The point is that for many people the distinction between biological sex, sexual behaviour and gender is unclear so they project heterosexual model onto same-sex relationships and imply that there should be some "fake" men and "fake" women. The use of женат and замужем only strengthens these projections, so in my opinion this use is discouraged.

[miram.livejournal.com]

Seems that Russian gays in a permanent relationship tend to say "замужем" and so on, if males. Or "жената" and so on, if lesbians. Though this use still sounds rather strange. Other ways of expressing the same idea are also used.

[oiseau-russe.livejournal.com]

If you looks at the firs meaning of theese words, this is not strange at all: a man in a gay relationship has a husband, so he is "behind his husband" i.e. замужем, a woman in the same sex relationship has a wife so жената.

[superbad.livejournal.com]

This is an interesting question. I don't know from my own experience, but I would guess what miram said. After all, it's not like "husband" and "wife" are sex-neutral words in English, either. I think it took awhile for people to get used to those words being used in same-sex marriage context (and probably not everyone is used to it even now). So if you've never heard it, which is likely in a culture where homosexuality isn't openly discussed, it's going to sound really weird and linguistically impossible the first time.

[besisland.livejournal.com]

He is married to the woman. — Он женат.
She is married to the woman. — Она жената.

He is married to the man. — Он замужем.
She is married to the man. — Она замужем.

He is single. — Он холост. or Он не состоит в браке.
She is single. — Она не состоит в браке.

[wolk-off.livejournal.com]

>She is single. — Она не состоит в браке.

What about "она не замужем"?

[mukinu.livejournal.com]

Well done!
"...Now, I know that same-sex marriages are far from being legalized in Russia..."
This is sociolinguistics actually. You're learning the language in the right way - analising things.

[tisoi.livejournal.com]

Well, I am majoring in linguistics, so that's what I am constantly doing. ;-) Thanks!