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learn_russianHello all!
If you don't remember me, I'm a third-year kid at university trying to talk coherently about a variety of different subjects.
This time, I'm trying to talk about my relationship with детективы throughout the years. I'm pretty sure the major problems with what I've written are an overuse of verbal adverbs, perhaps sometimes in places where Russians wouldn't use them, and questionable sentence structure (I write in a complex fashion in English, and I'm not sure if the complexity is translating well). I'm particularly concerned about the sentence near the end which starts "Perhaps their charm can be traced..."
Anyway. As always, any and all suggestions are welcomed. If it looks really odd, it's probably a typo, but I still would appreciate my attention being drawn to it. Otherwise, any pointers on making what I'm saying sound more Russian are much appreciated. :)
История любительницы детективов
Мне очень нравятся детективы. Хотя бы, будучи благовоспитанный ребёнок, у меня был вежливый, приучённый образ разговора, который взрослым нравился, я рано познакомилась с насилием. С этим ничего было нельзя поделать. По воскресеньям я разбирала истории Авессалома, который повесил за волосы, и Иаиль, пронзающую Сисару колом в висок; в выходные целые дни проводила, командуя моими воинами на воини моего брата; а уютными зимними вечерами заваливалась под плед с фонариком и читала захватывающие рассказы о войнах, шпионаже и предательстве. Я не была невинной девочкой, но я оставалась счастливо невежественной детективов – я бы сказала тайны, но для меня каждая сказка была тайной, если которая была самая причудливая выдумка или самая сухая история, преследовать с напряжённым удивлением с начала в конец.
Я отступаю. Думаю, что мне уже было шестнадцать лет, когда я нашла мой первый роман Агаты Кристи, но я ловилась для первой копчёной селёдки. От Таинственное преступление в Стайлсе до Занавеска, я весело прыгала с Эркюль Пуаро и Мисс Марпл, смехотворно радовала, когда я сама решала загадку, смешно расстраивала, когда я провалилась. Кристи пожирав, я подыскала Дороти Сэйерс и её идиосинкразические герой - лорд Питер Уимзи – и героиня - Гарриет Вэйн. С Сэйерсом, моё восхищение в хорошем детективе соединялся с моими учёными желанами; в моём самом любимом детективе, Вечер выпускников, дискуссия разговоры интеллектуальной честности жизненно к фабуле.
От хитрой простоти Чье тело? до замечательного окончания Убийство Роджера Экройда, я продолжаю найти смягчающие часы между общеизвестными страницами моих детективов. Возможно их очарование может находил к надобностью для сруба в котором страхи может встретиться, бороться логическо, и в конце отсылать победоносно. В расстоянии два часа, я могу драться психопатную убийцу, отдаю его под суд, и вставлю от моей книги отдохнувшая, омолаживала и вновь уверенная в моих способностах смотреть в лицо мирам. Для этого, за простого наслаждения детективы дают мне, я благодарная.
History of a Mystery-Lover
I am quite fond of detective stories. Despite being a well-brought up child with excellent manners and an earnest, learned way of talking which appealed to adults, my appetite for violence was born early. It could hardly be helped; spending my Sundays in solemn analyses of Absalom being hung by his hair and Jael thrusting a nail through Sisera’s temples, lazy weekday afternoons plotting grand strategies with my portion of the army-men, and cozy winter nights curled up under the covers with a flashlight reading intricate accounts of war, espionage, and betrayal, I was not an innocent child. And yet I remained happily ignorant of detective stories – I would say mysteries, but for me every story was a mystery, whether the most fanciful fiction or the driest history, to be followed with breathless wonder from beginning to end.
I digress. I must have been already sixteen when I found my first Agatha Christie book, but I was hooked from the first red herring. From The Mysterious Affair at Styles to Curtain, I gamboled happily with Poirot and Miss Marple, ridiculously pleased when I myself solved the puzzle, laughingly thwarted when I did not. When Christie had been duly devoured, I discovered Dorothy Sayers and her idiosyncratic hero - Lord Peter Wimsey - and heroine - Harriet Vane. With Sayers, my delight in a good mystery was united with my more scholastic yearnings; in my favorite mystery story of all, Gaudy Night, a debate over the subject of intellectual honesty is vital to the plot.
From the insidious simplicity of Whose Body? to the wonderful conclusion of The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, I continue to find relaxing hours between the well-known pages of my mystery novels. Perhaps their charm can be traced to the need for a framework in which fears can be encountered, dealt with logically, and in the end dispatched triumphantly. In the space of two hours, I can fight a psychopathic murderer, bring him to justice, and emerge from my book rested, refreshed, and newly confident in my own abilities to take on the world. For this, beyond the simple enjoyment mysteries give me, I am thankful.
Oh, and P.S., the Absalom and Jael part is from the Bible. Just clarifying.
Thank you all very much!
EDIT: It seems that the consensus is that my Russian is very poor, that I must have been using online translators, and that I should stick to simple ideas and structures. I have not been using online translators; every word here is my own, whether I already knew it or whether I looked it up in my dictionary. I already know basic grammar, vocabulary, and concepts actually quite well, even if it apparently doesn't look like it; I came to this community looking for help in how to express more complex ideas and sentences. If I don't write like a Russian yet, it's because I'm not - but I'd like to learn. That was the whole point of this post.
To address a specific complaint, that it's not possible to translate straight from English to Russian - I know. I do know. I'm not trying to find a direct equivalent to the English; the English text is included as a rough guide to what I was trying to say, in case what I'm saying in Russian is entirely unclear. "Но я ловилась для первой копчёной селёдки," which was pointed to as the worst offender of English-speak, does not seem to work in Russian, but "копчёная селёдка" was in a dictionary as being the equivalent of "red herring". I did not know that this term was not widely used in Russia, so thank you for pointing that out.
I guess in general, thank you for your comments, and I suppose I won't bother you again. Thank you for your help in the past.
If you don't remember me, I'm a third-year kid at university trying to talk coherently about a variety of different subjects.
This time, I'm trying to talk about my relationship with детективы throughout the years. I'm pretty sure the major problems with what I've written are an overuse of verbal adverbs, perhaps sometimes in places where Russians wouldn't use them, and questionable sentence structure (I write in a complex fashion in English, and I'm not sure if the complexity is translating well). I'm particularly concerned about the sentence near the end which starts "Perhaps their charm can be traced..."
Anyway. As always, any and all suggestions are welcomed. If it looks really odd, it's probably a typo, but I still would appreciate my attention being drawn to it. Otherwise, any pointers on making what I'm saying sound more Russian are much appreciated. :)
История любительницы детективов
Мне очень нравятся детективы. Хотя бы, будучи благовоспитанный ребёнок, у меня был вежливый, приучённый образ разговора, который взрослым нравился, я рано познакомилась с насилием. С этим ничего было нельзя поделать. По воскресеньям я разбирала истории Авессалома, который повесил за волосы, и Иаиль, пронзающую Сисару колом в висок; в выходные целые дни проводила, командуя моими воинами на воини моего брата; а уютными зимними вечерами заваливалась под плед с фонариком и читала захватывающие рассказы о войнах, шпионаже и предательстве. Я не была невинной девочкой, но я оставалась счастливо невежественной детективов – я бы сказала тайны, но для меня каждая сказка была тайной, если которая была самая причудливая выдумка или самая сухая история, преследовать с напряжённым удивлением с начала в конец.
Я отступаю. Думаю, что мне уже было шестнадцать лет, когда я нашла мой первый роман Агаты Кристи, но я ловилась для первой копчёной селёдки. От Таинственное преступление в Стайлсе до Занавеска, я весело прыгала с Эркюль Пуаро и Мисс Марпл, смехотворно радовала, когда я сама решала загадку, смешно расстраивала, когда я провалилась. Кристи пожирав, я подыскала Дороти Сэйерс и её идиосинкразические герой - лорд Питер Уимзи – и героиня - Гарриет Вэйн. С Сэйерсом, моё восхищение в хорошем детективе соединялся с моими учёными желанами; в моём самом любимом детективе, Вечер выпускников, дискуссия разговоры интеллектуальной честности жизненно к фабуле.
От хитрой простоти Чье тело? до замечательного окончания Убийство Роджера Экройда, я продолжаю найти смягчающие часы между общеизвестными страницами моих детективов. Возможно их очарование может находил к надобностью для сруба в котором страхи может встретиться, бороться логическо, и в конце отсылать победоносно. В расстоянии два часа, я могу драться психопатную убийцу, отдаю его под суд, и вставлю от моей книги отдохнувшая, омолаживала и вновь уверенная в моих способностах смотреть в лицо мирам. Для этого, за простого наслаждения детективы дают мне, я благодарная.
History of a Mystery-Lover
I am quite fond of detective stories. Despite being a well-brought up child with excellent manners and an earnest, learned way of talking which appealed to adults, my appetite for violence was born early. It could hardly be helped; spending my Sundays in solemn analyses of Absalom being hung by his hair and Jael thrusting a nail through Sisera’s temples, lazy weekday afternoons plotting grand strategies with my portion of the army-men, and cozy winter nights curled up under the covers with a flashlight reading intricate accounts of war, espionage, and betrayal, I was not an innocent child. And yet I remained happily ignorant of detective stories – I would say mysteries, but for me every story was a mystery, whether the most fanciful fiction or the driest history, to be followed with breathless wonder from beginning to end.
I digress. I must have been already sixteen when I found my first Agatha Christie book, but I was hooked from the first red herring. From The Mysterious Affair at Styles to Curtain, I gamboled happily with Poirot and Miss Marple, ridiculously pleased when I myself solved the puzzle, laughingly thwarted when I did not. When Christie had been duly devoured, I discovered Dorothy Sayers and her idiosyncratic hero - Lord Peter Wimsey - and heroine - Harriet Vane. With Sayers, my delight in a good mystery was united with my more scholastic yearnings; in my favorite mystery story of all, Gaudy Night, a debate over the subject of intellectual honesty is vital to the plot.
From the insidious simplicity of Whose Body? to the wonderful conclusion of The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, I continue to find relaxing hours between the well-known pages of my mystery novels. Perhaps their charm can be traced to the need for a framework in which fears can be encountered, dealt with logically, and in the end dispatched triumphantly. In the space of two hours, I can fight a psychopathic murderer, bring him to justice, and emerge from my book rested, refreshed, and newly confident in my own abilities to take on the world. For this, beyond the simple enjoyment mysteries give me, I am thankful.
Oh, and P.S., the Absalom and Jael part is from the Bible. Just clarifying.
Thank you all very much!
EDIT: It seems that the consensus is that my Russian is very poor, that I must have been using online translators, and that I should stick to simple ideas and structures. I have not been using online translators; every word here is my own, whether I already knew it or whether I looked it up in my dictionary. I already know basic grammar, vocabulary, and concepts actually quite well, even if it apparently doesn't look like it; I came to this community looking for help in how to express more complex ideas and sentences. If I don't write like a Russian yet, it's because I'm not - but I'd like to learn. That was the whole point of this post.
To address a specific complaint, that it's not possible to translate straight from English to Russian - I know. I do know. I'm not trying to find a direct equivalent to the English; the English text is included as a rough guide to what I was trying to say, in case what I'm saying in Russian is entirely unclear. "Но я ловилась для первой копчёной селёдки," which was pointed to as the worst offender of English-speak, does not seem to work in Russian, but "копчёная селёдка" was in a dictionary as being the equivalent of "red herring". I did not know that this term was not widely used in Russia, so thank you for pointing that out.
I guess in general, thank you for your comments, and I suppose I won't bother you again. Thank you for your help in the past.
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-15 11:40 am (UTC)Thanks- I never knew that будучи took Instru. :) So I'm learning things too.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-15 11:52 am (UTC)