(no subject)

[3libras.livejournal.com]

Привет! I have a question. I'm a big fan of the т.А.Т.у. song, Зачем Я (please don't groan and roll your eyes yet, this is more about Russian than it is about Tatu, honest!), but I didn't like any of the translations I found because they all sounded awkward. I tried translating it on my own, but I don't know if it's any good. I was wondering if anyone can give me tips and/or tell me what I did wrong?

Cкажи, зачем я жду звонка.
Зачем немые облака
Плывут ко мне издалека и тают.
Зачем любовь коснулась нас,
Зачем я плачу в первый раз,
Зачем хочу тебя сейчас не знаю.

Я звезда, ты звезда.
Нас приказано сжечь.
Кто-то сдал и достал
Адреса наших встреч.
Потолки по глазам
И никто не найдет.
Соскользнут голоса,
И сломается лед.
И ничья без ключа,
И могила постель.
И пора выключать,
И они на хвосте.
Улыбнись, развяжи,
Занавесь зеркала.
Разорви и скажи,
Умерла, умерла.
Замыкай и л.?.жи.
Становись никакой.
И рука не дрожит.
Все в порядке с рукой.
Можно мстить.
2 х 2.
На такси и соси,
А простить никогда,
Никогда не проси.
Хорошо, хорошо.
Я придумала месть.
Порошок все что есть.
Умножаю на шесть.
Не звони, не звони.
Я устала, я устала.
Я тебя не хочу,
Ты меня [ пип ]

Cкажи, зачем я жду звонка.
Зачем немые облака
Плывут ко мне издалека и тают.
Зачем любовь коснулась нас,
Зачем я плачу в первый раз,
Зачем хочу тебя сейчас не знаю.

Никогда ничего,
Ничего не начать.
Никогда никого,
Умирать и молчать.
Не искать, не любить,
Не жалеть и не спать.
Никогда, никуда
Никого не пускать.
Не вдвоем. И убьем.
Им приснится вода.
Не твое. Не мое.
Провода. Провода.
Героин. Пульса нет,
Только ты не при чем.
Абонент отключен...

Cкажи, зачем я жду звонка.
Зачем немые облака
Плывут ко мне издалека и тают.
Зачем любовь коснулась нас,
Зачем я плачу в первый раз,
Зачем хочу тебя сейчас не знаю.

Say, why am I waiting for your call?
Why do the silent clouds rain?*
Why did we fall in love?
Why am I crying for the first time?
Why I want you now, I don't know.

I’m a star, you’re a star.
We were to be tortured.
Someone revealed the address of our meetings.
Look up and no one will find us.
Lower your voice, it will be broken ice (?).
Everyone who knows will be dead.
Time flies, and we lag behind.
Smile, untie curtain mirror (?)
Destroy it and say “It’s dead, it’s dead”.
Lock and lie, do not change.
My hand won’t shake.
It is fully arranged to be done by my hand.
We can get revenge.
2x2.
We can go by taxi and vessel, but we can never forgive, never, or we shall remain.
Pretty, pretty.
I’ll plan revenge.
We can feed them powder.
Multiply by six.
Do not call, do not call
I’m tired, I’m tired.
I don’t want you
You and me--(beep)

Say, why am I waiting for your call?
Why do the silent clouds rain?
Why did we fall in love?
Why am I crying for the first time?
Why I want you now, I don't know.

Never nothing, nothing begins.
Never anyone,
Die and keep silent.
Don’t seek, no love,
No pity and no rest.
Never, whoever doesn’t set it in motion.
No us, and let us kill.
They will dream of water.
Not yours. Not mine.
Wire. Wire.
Heroin. No pulse.
You had nothing to do with it.
(Subscriber disconnected.)


Say, why am I waiting for your call?
Why do the silent clouds rain?
Why did we fall in love?
Why am I crying for the first time?
Why I want you now, I don't know.

* - I translated it as clouds moving in and melting, which I took to imply rain.
It still sounds a little awkward, I think...

Any help and/or advice would be appreciated! Спасибо!

Comments

[poslesna.livejournal.com]

I hope it can help u to understand the song. Pardon my English; it's a little bit fucked up.

I’m a star, u’r a star.
Someone ordered to burn us.
Someone betrayed us and gave up
The addresses of our meetings.
Потолки по глазам – (have no clue what the hell it supposed to mean smth like: ceilings hit the eyes)
Because of the slided up voices,
the ice will be broken
**without the key, I’m dont belong to anyone.
the grave is the bed
time to turn it off
they are chasing us ** - this part doesn’t make any sense for me. ))))
Smile, untie, - ????
Cover the mirrors,
Get it torn and say
She is dead! She is dead!
Lock and lie
Get rid of specification - )))) hahaha
the hand doesn’t shake.
The hand seems to be okay )))))
now We can start getting revenge.
2*2
Suck in the taxi, )))))
But don’t ever forgive
And don’t ever beg
Yahoooo! Yahoooo! )))
I invented revenge
The powder is the only thing that we have ))
Multiply (the dose?) by six
Do not call, do not call
I’m tired, I’m tired.
I don’t want you,
but You (beep) me *)))) hahahaha*

[capa26.livejournal.com]

I would translate скажи as "tell me" instead of "say." For example, скажите пожалуйста, tell me please or can you please tell me. Here is what I would say for the chorus:

Tell me, why am I waiting for your call?
Why are silent clouds
Drifting towards me from far away and melting
Why were we touched by love
Why am I crying for the first time
Why do I want you now, I don't know.

[tatyshki.livejournal.com]

I love that song.

[denan.livejournal.com]

thats my version of the first verse )
it is kinda hard to translate it because the meaning is not literal


Tell me why I’m waiting for the call?
Why the silent clouds ?
Float from far away and fade
Why has love touched us?
Why do I cry for the first time?
Why do I want you now, I don’t know

I’m a star, you’re a star,
We were meant to burn
Someone figured out
Places where we meet
Ceilings fall on our eyes
And no one will find
Our voiles will slip
And the ice will break
And the key is not here
And our bed is grave
And its time to turn off
And they’re on our tail
You should smile and untie,
Cover all the mirrors
Tear it up and say,
She is dead, she is dead
Lock it up and lay down
Try to get away
And your hand doesn’t shake,
Your hand is just fine
Time for the revenge
2x2