(no subject)

[adelaide129.livejournal.com]

i'm looking for a good translation [to english] of this poem by Marina Tsvetaeva. all the translations i've found on the internet seem really choppy and simple, as if translated by a native russian speaker who knew little english. my russian isn't advanced enough to fully read the poem in the original language, but what i can decipher i find entirely interesting, thus my persuit of a translation. any help would be much appreciated, thank you.


Мне нравится, что вы больны не мной,
Мне нравится, что я больна не вами,
Что никогда тяжелый шар земной
Не уплывет под нашими ногами.
Мне нравится, что можно быть смешной -
Распущенной - и не играть словами,
И не краснеть удушливой волной,
Слегка соприкоснувшись рукавами.

Мне нравится еще, что вы при мне
Спокойно обнимаете другую,
Не прочите мне в адовом огне
Гореть за то, что я не вас целую.
Что имя нежное мое, мой нежный, не
Упоминаете ни днем, ни ночью - всуе...
Что никогда в церковной тишине
Не пропоют над нами: аллилуйя!

Спасибо вам и сердцем и рукой
За то, что вы меня - не зная сами! -
Так любите: за мой ночной покой,
За редкость встреч закатными часами,
За наши не-гулянья под луной,
За солнце, не у нас над головами,-
За то, что вы больны - увы! - не мной,
За то, что я больна - увы! - не вами!

Comments

[svyatogor.livejournal.com]

what about this one (http://www.learningrussian.com/library/tsvetaeva/ilikeit(1).htm)? doesn't look that bad.

[adelaide129.livejournal.com]

hmm. thank you.

[dreadnought.livejournal.com]

Fourth-year Russian student here, who memorized this back in second year. Very famous poem. One of my Russian friends sings it all the time.

Here's an impromptu literal translation:

I like it, that you are not in love with me,
I like it, that I am not in love with you.
Never will that heavy earthly sphere
Drop from underneath our feet.
I like it, that I can be funny with you -
Uninhibited - and not struggle with words,
And not blush in a suffocating wave
When our sleeves accidentally brush.

I like it further, that you in my presence
Can freely embrace another
And that you don't intend me for fire
To burn there, because I'm not kissing you.**
That my sweet name, my sweet one, is not
Remembered not in the afternoon, nor night - never...
That never in the silence of the church
They will never sing out over us: alleluia!***

Thank you from both heart and hand
For this, that you - not knowing it! -
So love me: for my undisturbed nights,
For the seldomness of our meetings in the sunset hour,
For our not-walkings under the moon,
For the sun, which never shines over our heads,
For this, that you are not lovesick - alas! - for me,
For this, that I am not lovesick - alas! - for you!

*I like it is not a very good translation, but it's about as good as it gets. The original Russian connotes something that combines "I like", "It appeals to me", "It pleases me", etc.
**Could be taken as "because I'm kissing someone who is not you".
***This is a reference to marriage, in which the choir sings out "alleluia" over the bride and groom's heads.


I am afraid that's still rather choppy, but I'm not much of a poet, so I can't make it better. I think one of the biggest "choppy factors" is "I like it", but I'm not sure what to say instead for Мне нравится; there's "It pleases me", but that just sounds worse! So anyway, hope that helps!

[adelaide129.livejournal.com]

oh beautiful. it sounds lovely.

[platonicus.livejournal.com]

**Could be taken as "because I'm kissing someone who is not you".
The onnly possible meaning. 'Because I'm not kissing you' would have been 'за то, что я не целую вас'

[platonicus.livejournal.com]

'Thank you from both heart and hand' - not 'from', but 'I thank you with...'

[nyessax.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking about this poem yesterday. In high school I had a project where I had to look at several poems by one poet, and I almost chose this but, like you, I couldn't find any good translations. And I was just thinking how I wanted to come back to this poem someday, when I've learned enough Russian to understand it for myself.

[svyatogor.livejournal.com]

as long as we are on the topic. I'd recomend this song on this words (it's from one the classical movies): http://delit.net/music/download.phtml?title_id=46570

p.s. you can either preview it or pass a free registration and download up to 2 songs per day for free.