Sort of unrelated question

[crazy-queer.livejournal.com]

Hi All,

My brother is getting married to a wonderful Russian girl and since the wedding is here in the states she doesn't get to have a lot of her Russian wedding traditions. My friend and I are in charge of the bachelorette party. I was wondering if there are any traditions that we should do at the wedding or at the bachelorette party that would make her feel like she wasn't missing out on traditions she always thought she would have.

I appreciate any ideas you can give me... it seems from what I've heard there are little games that Russians have in regards to getting married.

Comments

[wolk-off.livejournal.com]

Though I've been through this two times already, I wasn't a dedicated follower of all those "little games"... so I could not say much, except that during the wedding dinner, some of the guests would occasionally shout "Горько! Горько!" (literally, "it's bitter!",) and it's the signal for the young spouses to start kissing in front of the whole bunch of relatives and friends :)

[apollotiger.livejournal.com]

I always find the customs of other cultures so odd — for example, when I was 9 or 10, I was baffled by the French song "Savez-vous planter des choux" (I hope I spelled that right; my French spelling is awful) because I couldn't see why on Earth the French wanted to know if I could plant cabbages with my feet.

Then I reflected on the presence of the song "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in English. I decided that was just how things were.

[zombie-laika.livejournal.com]

I learned that "Row Your Boat" is actually a song that the US Navy taught to its lobotomized slave-workers.

Of course, I'm making this up, so it might not be correct.

[wire-shock.livejournal.com]

Everything is probable, but I believe this isn't the origin of the song :-)

[wolk-off.livejournal.com]

If we seriously start analyzing the lyrics of some Russian folk songs, we may as well start a mental hospital :))

I was always fascinated by that famous
Калинка-малинка, калинка моя.
В саду ягода калинка-малинка моя.

Literally:
O guelder-rose berry, o raspberry, o guelder-rose berry of mine.
It's in the garden where my berry, my guelder-rose berry, my raspberry is.

I always felt that J.R.R.Tolkien had heard that song, otherwise what was the role model for the old Fangorn's cantate on rowan trees? ;-)

[apollotiger.livejournal.com]

Hahaha. It would be interesting to analyse folk songs and see the common traits. It seems that in the south of the US and in Ireland, a great deal of folk songs involve some sort of alcohol. :)

[wolk-off.livejournal.com]

It's funny but Russian folk songs don't say too much about drinking, though Russians efinitely weren't abstinents during neither era of their history :)

[juniper949.livejournal.com]

I always wondered what the translation for "kalina" is. My name is Colleen and that's the closest sounding Russian word so I've always used it to help people get the stress in the right place. Also I like "kalinovyi chai" alot, but it doesn't exist in the US as far as I can tell.

[padruka1988.livejournal.com]

We have that in America, too. But we don't yell things, we "ding" our glasses with spoons or knives... Eventually, the whole reception all is "dinging" and the couple kisses.

[a-garvey.livejournal.com]

A popular tradition is "выкуп" (ransom), when fiance have to fulfil a line of comic tasks. Some of this tasks are related with spending money, some sren't. For example: to draw his bride with closed (covered with showl) eyes. Or define wich of women under veils is his bride.
Bride may be "kidnapped" during wedding dinner, fiance have to find her. Softer variant is stolen bride's shoe :)

[wire-shock.livejournal.com]

At the wedding of a girlfriend of mine the groom had to find her: there were signs on the walls, or on a piece of paper hidden inside a balloon (and the groom had to find the right one in the bunch!)... Some kind of orienteering in fact. But I'm not sure that's traditional. I haven't been married yet, though.

[kehlen-crow.livejournal.com]

When my brother got married his bride was 'stolen' too at the diner. And he had to 'ransom' her one more time. (They hid her in the back rooms and one of his friends danced with the woman who guarded the entrance while he sneaked inside to get her back)

[this-bugs-4-you.livejournal.com]

i remember hearing about the 'kidnapping' tradition...the game goes something like: the groom shows up to kidnap the bride, supposedly, but she hides, so he ends up kidnapping the equivalent of the flower girl--someone young enough to be totally freaked out by it :) i heard this story from some friends in russia...but they could have just been messing with me, so perhaps i should leave it to actual russian people to answer this question!

[zhp.livejournal.com]

We do have sort of a bachelorette party, called "devichnik" (a "girls' party", literally)but we don't have any specific traditions connected to it. It's just a party for the bride-to-be and her friends. People eat, drink and talk. All the traditions and rituals are for the wedding day - before and after the ceremony. A jokular ransom for the bride that the groom and his best man have to pay is one of those(it's seldom actually money, it's candy for the kids and all sorts of stupid tests, like finding the key to the room where the bride is). One thing that some brides do is the "ritual" of parting with her maiden name: they write it on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and throw the bottle into a river or smth like that. People also have some bizarre fortune-telling activities that would tell the bride about her future married life.

[nale.livejournal.com]

It is very thoughtful of you, it really is. :-)

Not for bachelorette party, but rather for the wedding dinner: the bride and the groom are given a big richly decorated round loaf of bread; they take it with both hands, each at his/her side, and break it. Whoever gets the bigger half wins and is supposed to be the head of the family in the future.

My favourite, but a bit messy, is the following: after the first toast the bride and the groom are supposed to smash their glasses against the floor - it is good luck.

I'd mention showering newly-wed with grain, candy and small change on their way, but you have that, too, if I'm not mistaken.

[apollotiger.livejournal.com]

I've never heard of small change and candy. Rice and bubbles I've seen before, though.

[nale.livejournal.com]

Ah! So, when it comes to details, it's different after all. Thank you for the correction.

[wolfie-18.livejournal.com]

The only reason we have bubbles is to not kill the birds. :)

[nadyezhda.livejournal.com]

if this were true, there'd be no birds in Asia. Urban myth.

[hopeinagpa.livejournal.com]

But if I'm not mistaken...the Asians eat their rice instead of giving it to the birds :D

[padruka1988.livejournal.com]

Don't forget bird seed! We threw bird seed at my cousin's wedding.
I've also heard of people throwing confetti and beach balls (it was a wedding on the beach).

[patodruida.livejournal.com]

I guess it comes down to what you think of as "tradition". Many of the wedding customs in Russia are, according to what I know, not that ancient and, in fact, go back only as far a Soviet times.

These include the infamous bride-kidnapping thingie; the "bitter" chants; having the wife sweep coins from the floor and many others which, incidentally, are pretty easy to google (if you don't mind browsing through a couple of somewhat irritating "Russian-Bride" sites).

I recently got married in Moscow and neither my bride nor I were really into most of these little games. We had to compromise, of course, because of her family. But only a little... My wife was not kidnapped, for example.

If your brother's fiance is young, chances are she does not care to much for these "traditions". It might be good if you probed her a bit to know what is important for her.

From my experience I can tell you that we had a great time promenading through several city landmarks and it was a humbling experience paying our respects to the eternal flame memorial... Perhaps you can do a similar thing in your hometown. I reckon that, as long as the bride feels special and loved you will be fine.