Moscow Times article
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learn_russianBefore VCRs, There Was Armenian Radio
By Michele A. Berdy
Армянское радио спрашивают: A question for Armenian radio (the opening line in a series of Soviet-era jokes).
Aguy walks into a bar ... ." As soon as Americans hear these words, they get ready for a laugh (or at least a joke). For Russians, getting ready to hear or tell a joke is one of the greatest pleasures of the culture. In the bad old days, before VCRs, multiplex cinemas, fitness clubs and other recreational diversions, an entertaining evening was spent with friends sitting in the kitchen, talking about life, and, if there was a good joke-teller (рассказчик) in the crowd, laughing to the point of tears over the latest joke (анекдот).
Jokes are miserable (and sometimes impossible) to translate, and can be hard even to understand. Since there's nothing worse than sitting with a blank expression while your friends roar with laughter, here's a short guide to some of the standard personages that populate Russian jokes.
Many Russian jokes are based on recognizable ethnic or religious stereotypes: the rich Georgian (of Soviet times, now replaced by the New Russian), the slow-witted Estonian (горячий эстонский парень -- hot-blooded Estonian), the greedy and slovenly Ukrainian. In one series, a Frenchman, an American, a German and a Russian (or sometimes a Jew, Englishman or Ukrainian) find themselves in some situation where their various national characteristics come to light.
In the Russian tradition, Чукча (Chukcha, from the Far East region of Chukotka) is equivalent to the "dumb Pollack" -- definitely not politically correct in any language. Speaking in broken Russian, he finds himself in Moscow, far from the taiga, puzzled by modern civilization. In one joke, he is riding a tram. Водитель: Следующая остановка -- 8-го Марта. Чукча: А раньше никак нельзя? (Conductor: Next stop -- 8th of March. Chukcha: Is there no way we can stop any earlier?)
Jokes about the новый русский (the New Russian) have petered out (probably because they're just not funny anymore), but during the peak period of New Russian jokes in the '90s, it seemed a week didn't go by without a new variation. New Russians are dim-witted, dedicated to shows of affluence, and eager to spend as much money as they can. Два новых русских встречаются. Один показывает другому новый галстук. "Только что купил за $3,000." "Дурак! Можно было купить за углом за $4,000!" (Two New Russians meet. One shows the other his new tie. "I bought it for $3,000." "You idiot! You could have bought it around the corner for $4,000!")
In the late '90s, there were also a series of gruesome jokes connected with contract killings. Два киллера сидят в подъезде, ждут бизнесмена. Ждут час, два, три ... Вдруг один говорит, "Слушай, я начинаю волноваться. Не случилось ли что-нибудь?" (Two hit men are waiting in an apartment building entryway for a businessman. They wait an hour, two hours, three. Finally one says to the other, "Hey, I'm getting worried. Do you think something happened to him?")
My favorite series of the Soviet period were "questions to Armenian Radio." These appeared in the 1960s, apparently the continuation of армянские загадки (literally "Armenian riddles," something like knock-knock jokes). There were many themes (including those playing on the competitive relations between Georgians and Armenians), but the most famous are the anti-Soviet jokes. Армянское радио спрашивают: Можно ли построить коммунизм в Армении? Можно, но лучше сначала в Грузии. (A question for Armenian radio: Can communism be built in Armenia? Yes, but it would be better to do it in Georgia first.) Армянское радио спрашивают: Можно ли построить коммунизм? Да, можно -- но выжить при нём -- нельзя. (A question for Armenian radio: Can communism be built? Yes, it can -- but no one can survive it.) Or the all-time classic: Какой самый короткий анекдот? Ответ: Коммунизм. (What's the shortest joke? Answer: Communism.)
In the bad old days, that always got a laugh.
Michele A. Berdy is a Moscow-based translator.
By Michele A. Berdy
Армянское радио спрашивают: A question for Armenian radio (the opening line in a series of Soviet-era jokes).
Aguy walks into a bar ... ." As soon as Americans hear these words, they get ready for a laugh (or at least a joke). For Russians, getting ready to hear or tell a joke is one of the greatest pleasures of the culture. In the bad old days, before VCRs, multiplex cinemas, fitness clubs and other recreational diversions, an entertaining evening was spent with friends sitting in the kitchen, talking about life, and, if there was a good joke-teller (рассказчик) in the crowd, laughing to the point of tears over the latest joke (анекдот).
Jokes are miserable (and sometimes impossible) to translate, and can be hard even to understand. Since there's nothing worse than sitting with a blank expression while your friends roar with laughter, here's a short guide to some of the standard personages that populate Russian jokes.
Many Russian jokes are based on recognizable ethnic or religious stereotypes: the rich Georgian (of Soviet times, now replaced by the New Russian), the slow-witted Estonian (горячий эстонский парень -- hot-blooded Estonian), the greedy and slovenly Ukrainian. In one series, a Frenchman, an American, a German and a Russian (or sometimes a Jew, Englishman or Ukrainian) find themselves in some situation where their various national characteristics come to light.
In the Russian tradition, Чукча (Chukcha, from the Far East region of Chukotka) is equivalent to the "dumb Pollack" -- definitely not politically correct in any language. Speaking in broken Russian, he finds himself in Moscow, far from the taiga, puzzled by modern civilization. In one joke, he is riding a tram. Водитель: Следующая остановка -- 8-го Марта. Чукча: А раньше никак нельзя? (Conductor: Next stop -- 8th of March. Chukcha: Is there no way we can stop any earlier?)
Jokes about the новый русский (the New Russian) have petered out (probably because they're just not funny anymore), but during the peak period of New Russian jokes in the '90s, it seemed a week didn't go by without a new variation. New Russians are dim-witted, dedicated to shows of affluence, and eager to spend as much money as they can. Два новых русских встречаются. Один показывает другому новый галстук. "Только что купил за $3,000." "Дурак! Можно было купить за углом за $4,000!" (Two New Russians meet. One shows the other his new tie. "I bought it for $3,000." "You idiot! You could have bought it around the corner for $4,000!")
In the late '90s, there were also a series of gruesome jokes connected with contract killings. Два киллера сидят в подъезде, ждут бизнесмена. Ждут час, два, три ... Вдруг один говорит, "Слушай, я начинаю волноваться. Не случилось ли что-нибудь?" (Two hit men are waiting in an apartment building entryway for a businessman. They wait an hour, two hours, three. Finally one says to the other, "Hey, I'm getting worried. Do you think something happened to him?")
My favorite series of the Soviet period were "questions to Armenian Radio." These appeared in the 1960s, apparently the continuation of армянские загадки (literally "Armenian riddles," something like knock-knock jokes). There were many themes (including those playing on the competitive relations between Georgians and Armenians), but the most famous are the anti-Soviet jokes. Армянское радио спрашивают: Можно ли построить коммунизм в Армении? Можно, но лучше сначала в Грузии. (A question for Armenian radio: Can communism be built in Armenia? Yes, but it would be better to do it in Georgia first.) Армянское радио спрашивают: Можно ли построить коммунизм? Да, можно -- но выжить при нём -- нельзя. (A question for Armenian radio: Can communism be built? Yes, it can -- but no one can survive it.) Or the all-time classic: Какой самый короткий анекдот? Ответ: Коммунизм. (What's the shortest joke? Answer: Communism.)
In the bad old days, that always got a laugh.
Michele A. Berdy is a Moscow-based translator.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 10:54 pm (UTC)no subject
An interesting overview, though waaay too narrow, unfortunately... There are also tons of Jew anecdotes and jokes about Vovochka.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-02 03:46 am (UTC)- Maria Ivanovna, when I`ll grow, I`ll become the President and you will regret about it!
- Seat down, Putin, NOW!!!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-02 04:18 am (UTC)Next week, his parents went to see Vovochka.
On the 1st floor of the Correction School, there was a sign on the wall which said "BAD KIDS."
"Is our son Vovochka here?"
"No, he's upstairs."
2nd floor: the sign on the wall said "VERY BAD KIDS."
"Is our son Vovochka here?"
"No, he's upstairs."
3rd floor: the sign on the wall said "TERRIBLE KIDS."
"Is our son Vovochka here?"
"No, he's upstairs."
4th floor: the sign on the wall said "THE WORST KIDS."
"Is our son Vovochka here?"
"No, he's upstairs."
On the 5th floor, the sign on the wall said "VOVOCHKA."
This is my 3rd grade :) Russian version follows:
Однажды у учительнцы кончилось терпение, и Вовочку послали в интернат.
На следующей неделе родители поехали навестить Вовочку.
На первом этаже на стене было написано: "ПЛОХИЕ ДЕТИ".
- Наш сын Вовочка здесь?
- Нет, он выше.
На втором этаже на стене было написано: "ОЧЕНЬ ПЛОХИЕ ДЕТИ".
- Наш сын Вовочка здесь?
- Нет, он выше.
На третьем этаже на стене было написано: "УЖАСНЫЕ ДЕТИ".
- Наш сын Вовочка здесь?
- Нет, он выше.
На четвертом этаже на стене было написано: "САМЫЕ ХУДШИЕ ДЕТИ".
- Наш сын Вовочка здесь?
- Нет, он выше.
На пятом этаже на стене было написано "ВОВОЧКА".
no subject
Date: 2004-07-02 04:23 am (UTC)- Почему нельзя послать в космос армянского космонавта?
- Потому что тогда все армяне умрут от городости, все грузины - от зависти, и весь Кавказ достанется азербайджанцам.
A question for Armenian radio: "Why can't they send an Armenian astronaut to the space?"
"Because all Armenians will die of pride then, all Georgians will die of envy, and the Azerbaijani will get the whole Caucasian Mountains!"
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 04:52 am (UTC)also Stirlitz, Gena-Che Burashka and Pet'ka-Vasily Ivanych jokes...